Our Parenting Alphabet

Following on from the first letter of our parenting alphabet when we looked at

A for Acceptance, we very naturally come to the second letter, B for Boundary.

Acceptance is always the important first step. We accept our child's feelings - this

doesn't mean that we have to agree - but we accept them. The second step therefore, is limit setting. Children need boundaries in order to feel safe and secure, and of course, they need to learn them.

Does Acceptance mean that I should give in to my child all the time?

This could sound like...

Acceptance

I can see that you feel angry about this. That makes sense, it's OK to feel angry.

Boundary

And, I can't let you kick people. That will hurt them.

You can kick this ball against the wall, or you can bounce the angry feeling out like this. Which shall we try?

Although you have communicated that you accept the visiting feeling of anger, you are holding the important boundary that it is not OK to hurt people, and giving options of acceptable ways of expressing big feelings.

This avoids shaming the child for expressing emotion, and teaches ways of regulating the body at the same time.