Adopting a curious mindset is useful for parents and carers, and also a valuable way of thinking to instil in our children.
The question 'why?' can trigger a defensive response, but open, non - judgemental curiosity aims to do the opposite. It doesn't demand an answer but offers a thoughtful 'wondering' which conveys acceptance, offering a more laid back, engaged interest in the person and the situation.
This might look like;
My child is acting up. What feeling might they be communicating under this behaviour? Could there be an unmet need? What happened directly before?
I didn't want to react like I just did. I wonder what that might be about? What might help my nervous system to feel less triggered right now.
"When you got mad earlier, I'm wondering what made Mr angry visit? Let's put our detective goggles on for next time so we can help Mr angry sooner."
Curiosity can help us to understand more about ourselves and our children, and modelling a curious mindset can help our children to understand more about their emotions and where they come from.
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